wish list for now:
1. new specs
2. Kanken bagpack
3. Bamboooo!!
4. Pipa
5. laptop
6. Phone Case
7. Bottle

when I have made conclusion

时间很紧迫不过我总是没有要读书的心，来到第四年才愿意承认自己真的不是什么读好书的料。在现在这个地步我怎样的成绩结果都会接受了! 哈哈不强求真的是尽力就好，然后我的日子有好好过就好。

最近常常在自己总是追求完全公平等的坏习惯中碰到小钉子。其实真的也不是什么很大件的事情（在我看开/放弃以后真的这么觉得，虽然在那之前我是非常难受的）。我真真学会了不去在意不愿意在意我的人。真！的！没有热脸就不会有冷屁股，非常讨厌冷屁股。

然后承认自己最近真的很罗嗦。明知道说过后会吐血并且非常后悔，我还是很爱以hey this is for your own good 的出发点循循善诱的告诉别人一些事情（我愚蠢地以为会受到关注/我太高估别人&自己)。老实说，到现阶段，我真真的看清事情，然后不会在自己去抹一鼻子灰了因为这些乱七八糟的事情根本对我不会有什么影响的阿！！！我在那边紧张生气不爽什么。想说，不管是什么角色，如果自己不愿意小小努力一点哪也没资格要求别人做你想要别人做的事情啊！如果一件事情涉及超过一个人，那么每个人都应该付出平均的一点来让大家每一个人都开心满意觉得受到尊重啊。我以前也是倔强自恃高不屑别人说的话但几年过去了我看到了自己的丑陋我有真地开始学习，一点一点地，最重要的是当有状况发生，我学会了先反省一下自己而不是先怪别人，因为我很懦弱的害怕没有朋友:)我觉得有条件不用反省自己的人只有不怕没有朋友的人!（真的有这样的人的！）

也没有觉得自己说得一定对可是不吐不快阿！哈哈哈。最后呢我心里有了个小结论。

:3

光有感觉光有嘴巴是没有用的。

那么大一个人了自己想要的是什么都没有办法好好清楚地告诉自己。是因为雨很大所以我才会在这里。

如果真真因为看了伤心戏心里就那么难受那到底有什么东西是我可以/愿意承担的。我不断地在抱怨，不过很多时候我都会提醒自己，把别人的最糟最糟的状况想像一遍，我会豁然开朗。

然后雨更大了。

我心情是很郁闷没错，最近

常常觉得好多好多乌烟瘴气的东西堆在心里，说不出原因只觉得我应该是真的没事的吧！ I am just feeling so so so stuck. again,不要强说愁啊年轻小孩

--我对什么都失去信心了。靠自己ba，我会知道更多的，时间一过，手上捉有东西的是我啊。 是我自己选择的我不要伤心 I know I'm blessed.

it popped

That feeling returned to me. Do you believe. I sense it, without knowing what it would be, whom would it be. Hello please come to me, i would like to know, please stay here

keep thinking...

这篇不是埋怨文!

Finally I've really started thinking about my future I hope it ain't too late(?) And thru this I found that I don't really have any significant interest or strength LOL and I don't even know what my final target of living is. It's serious problem but I know it would never be too late to start looking for it. So I did really spend timing to figure out WHO I AM WHAT I NEED WHATS MY TARGET WHATS MY RESPONSIBILITY ETCETC. However the outcome is not there yet. It's ok, I don't mind giving myself more time. I have one more study year.

There are many many different saying about these things. Some would say what a good student good child must do is to set parents and family free from earning and bearing the burden ASAP (?) Some would say if family do not urgently need your financial support it's not a must for you to get a job ASAP after graduation (?) Some would say no matter how interest is the 1st thing to consider when looking for job....(?) Oops there are way too many.

I used to believe the very first whatever saying that I come across and I would stick myself to it no matter if it suits my case. I am always lack of my own thought and following others blindly :( I think that what I've known are always too tooo tooooooo little to make good decision and eventually to lead a good life of mine. It's ok it's ok...........I know it then I can solve it !! Before I can get myself orientated in somewhere, I should learn to believe and understand myself, as well as my need. Noone else can know me better than I. And there will not be any good model for me to exactly copy and apply to my life. HEY this is MY life kays.

(I used to try to find a good model and intend to copy exactly. How stupid I am.)

Don't panic I keep telling myself, It would never be too late. Slowly slowly, don't hurt the little tiny brain that I used more in studying instead of thinking any other stuffs.

It's ok, It's Ok. Must get rid of my laziness and earn $ for Taiwan trip :)

I have friends and family around. blissed

Lessons

relationships among people are the most complicated stuffs I've ever met. it's very hard and rare to achieve relationship of 2 persons which is mutually equal. Unevenness always occurs but i think it's fair. One would probably possess 2 kinds of people around - people whom he's willing to give more even he receives less from them, and people whom he's unwilling to give even a small amount but he's able to get much more from them, physically and mentally. I would always hope to get much from people whom I'm willing to give much but it can hardly satisfy me for most of the time. I would happily admit that this's not a good thing especially when I'm  learning to be more independent. A little conclusion to me is that I should start realizing the downside of needing people to be with me when I need emotional support, and after then I should learn to handle any kind of emotional problem by my own without any help from others so that the chances to be disappointed can be reduced. LOL

I'm learning hard to live better, lesson by lesson. :) HARU HARU

When stress's going to conquer you, the things that can cheer you up are getting more and more difficult to be came across.

ways of leading life

It's good to have friends who travel much or are just back from long holidays if you didn't have the chance to enjoy the same thing. I've heard and gotten much information from them when they shared their stories with me and somehow I could fully feel the amazingness too (like I've been to the places too). 

It isn't extremely disappointing or really bad thing for me for not getting any chance for exchange during my 4-year uni life. As through my trip from Shanghai I fully understand that I'm seriously not prepared yet. I'm the kind who need extremely much preparation, mentally and physically, in everything. Like maybe 2 or 3 years ago I would never think of going travelling, because of some stupid reasons - I hate the bad feeling after long trips when I have to pull myself out from the awesomeness during the trips and back to reality. This kind of feeling can simply kill me. I didn't know that how much can a person gain from a trip, even a short one. I would just think that trips are only for relaxing purpose. :/

Come to uni, getting more and more friends around me started thinking and talking about going somewhere to backpack, or going for student exchange etc. Friends were applying for exchange - going Hong Konng, Taiwan, China, Europe etcetc and I did the same too. I wasn't sad for not getting it ( I applied for Hong Kong programme). I just simply do not know what I can earn from these.


Friends coming back from long exchange programme, life's target's changed. I think this is the biggest change / earning that I can see from them. One's world would become wider when he's seen the real big world. And I understand something - one who do not have good level of character quality would not know how to truly appreciate and understand every single thing that come into during the travelling, and they would not know the real way of travelling.

I went to Shanghai. I enjoyed much but I admit that I'm still lack of something to accept and treasure things that Shanghai's able to give me. Yet I know somehow it did make me a little bit stronger for the coming years and I DO LOVE TRAVELLING! <3  However, I've yet to have sufficiently good level of character quality to go for any long trip, yea the long kind, and to make the trip worthy. When I'm prepared I would definitely go for it as I know the thing's gonna change my entire life.

Oops, I must be tougher too :)
Can't wait saying hello to Taiwan <3 Sisters. Hope it's sure kays sisters.

what should a lady think about?

getting hot figure, earning enough, getting good gpa, having good romance, hanging out with friends around, improving own mind, fashion brands, some kind of luxury goods, learning to cook and bake,mixing and matching outfit for the day, getting back to home, hanging out with family, travelling overseas.

get everything done and fulfilled, aint any other lady. :)

how much do I look forward to all of these.




















I'll be there






















and there




















I'll be able to make this.




















I'll meet him somewhere one day.


























I'll get enough girly stuffs like these.





















and get all these conquered


sing a song dance whole night. I am a girl who dream pretty much. understand me and bear with me

haliluyahhh

bamboo
smart phone T^T
trip to Aus
semi pro camera


46kg :O
long hair ORZ

gentle reminder

nie
tuition
business
account balance

new house
mse
myself
french
gpa
sister


no more slack slack ok babe